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My Secret | cedricsmom's Blog


I see you in my mind.  A secret...a fantasy, deeply buried, yet playing like a movie over and over across the screen of my mind.  I see you...in shadows, cast by candlelight, hair falling across your eyes, and I ache with the pleasure of brushing it away.  I see you moving over me, leaning forward, pausing just before your lips brush mine, and a need I've never known fills me.  I see you...hours later, exhausted, lying next to me, looking into my eyes, and I hold nothing back.  I am open and give you all that I have.  All that I am. I see you...letting go, letting me in.  Giving me everything you have, everything you are.  The screen darkens, the lights come up, and I realize that my fantasy must remain where it is.  A secret.  Deeply buried. 

The re-run of our movie haunts me when I least expect it.  It surprises me with the intensity of the desire it creates.  It is not real, and yet I cannot pretend it is mere fantasy.  Because I know, that given the opportunity, I would take the chance, I would open my cautious heart and let you in, for an hour, a night, a lifetime.

No one knows.  No one suspects.  They look at me, and see...laughing.  Talking.  Dreaming.  Loving the man I love.  Sharing my life, my hopes, my dreams.  Making plans for a future I can't quite see.  No one looks closer, catches a glimpse of me...wanting you.

I keep it to myself.  A secret buried in the ocean of my heart.  A dream that will never come true.  A thought I won't act on.  But I hope, one day, you'll know, you'll look into my heart and see yourself reflected there.


This Blog Entry's Comment Board (5 comments)
1-5 of 5 Comments   

Angelly
Posted on 11:17PM on Jan 25th, 2013
This story is haunting. My heart is breaking
cedricsmom
Posted on 06:59AM on Jan 26th, 2013
I didn't mean to break your heart Angelly. I take it as a compliment though.
Angelly
Posted on 07:49PM on Jan 29th, 2013
Yes, your writing is very touching & it moved me ;)
Angelly
Posted on 07:51PM on Jan 29th, 2013
Yes, your writing is very touching & it moved me ;)
Angelly
Posted on 07:52PM on Jan 29th, 2013
Yes, your writing is very touching & it moved me ;)
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