2013 | cedricsmom's Blog

WARNING:  This blog is really just me bitching about things I can't change and spewing negativity, so if you want to stop here...I understand.

Okay.  hose who are still with me, 2013 isn't looking so promising.  I am in a really bad place right now.  Struggling with a relationship I don't want to lose and am pretty sure is falling apart.  I don't think it's a good sign when he says he doesn't want to spend New Years Eve together, because "holidays just aren't that important to me" and when I am standing in the kitchen crying because it's important to me, he just says "you'll be okay"  

I hate my job today.  Not every day, but the last few weeks have sucked.  And I was informed that even though I haven't had vacation in over a year I can't take any until May because it would be inconvenient from a scheduling stand point.This pisses me off because if anyone has earned a vacation in the last year it's me.  I worked a lot of 60 hour weeks.  I am thankful for the job but today I'm exhausted and pissy.

I just feel angry and stuck in my life.  This will pass I'm sure.  But honestly I don't know when.  Would I be happier just to end my relationship?  Go back to spending every single minute of my life alone?  Cry myself to sleep?  Wake up wondering what the point of it all is?  Or just forgive this and move forward?  Because tonight I'm lonely and hurting and I just want someone to lean on.  And he's not here and he didn't even call.  And I hate him right now.

I guess that's it.  Happy New Year to the rest of you.

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Posted on 06:27PM on Jan 24th, 2013
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